Have you ever asked yourself what successful people consistently do diligently? What does taking care of ourselves have anything to do with being a good parent?
Before we can effectively take care of our children;
we must care for ourselves!
Elder Marion G. Romney said, "Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak."
In an article titled, "The Parenting Pyramid" it tells a story of two young teenage boys and a father. The article uses a story to illustrate the use of the parenting pyramid in helping to parent these boys.
The boys were going to a pool hall and playing pool where there was hard rock music, boys and girls hanging on each other, betting, cigar-smoking and more. Their dad was not happy at all they had been spending time there. He had two decisions to make when correcting them. He could go pick them up and make it clear it was unacceptable or he could wait for them at home and then let them know it was unacceptable.
The dad decided to patiently wait for them at home and when he did this it gave him some time to think. He decided to start going with them to the Pool Hall. He realized instead of asking himself "What should I do, now that something has gone wrong?" the more important question to ask was, "how do I help things go right?"
The article discusses the following concepts:
1. Two types of questions
2. Am I correcting my children without teaching them?
3. What is the quality of my relationship with my children?
4. What is the quality of my relationship with my spouse?
5. How pure is my "way of being?"
In the Parenting Pyramid article it says, "An important hint about parenthood follows from this discussion. It is this: The solution to a problem in one part of the pyramid lies below that part of the pyramid. For example, if my correction of my child isn't working-if I've studiously tried many things and my children just aren't responding-the solution is not to try still more methods of correction. The solution is to
do a better job of teaching.
As you can see in the image above the most important thing we should be doing is making sure we are caring for ourselves. This will strengthen every part of this parenting pyramid.
Some ideas for caring for our self include the following:
1. meditating- being silent and blocking out chatter in your mind
2. prayer-focusing on Heavenly Father and expressing gratitude
3. scripture study-feeling the spirit and learning ways to be more Christlike
4. temple attendance-keeping your covenants and striving to improve way of being by becoming selfless through service
5. exercising-keeping your body physically healthy
6. eating healthy-fueling your body
7. affirmations-telling yourself encouraging words helps to overcome fear and helps you to feel happy.
8. journaling-processing your thoughts will help you reflect and realize how much you can and have achieved.
9. visualization- as we visualize ourselves becoming the type of parent we want to become it can help it to become a reality.
10. reading-fill your brain with positivity and ideas to improve yourself.
As parents begin to better care for themselves it will help build a solid foundation for the best parenting we are capable of giving. We can not give our children
anything from an empty cup.
In summary the article gave 5 takeaways from the pyramid:
"1. Although correction is a part of parenthood, it is the smallest part. 2. The key to effective correction is effective teaching. 3. The key to effective teaching is a good parent/child relationship. 4. The key to a good parent/child relationship is a good husband/wife relationship. 5. The key to a good husband/wife relationship is our personal way of being. Indeed, this quality affects every other aspect of the pyramid; that is why it is the deepest foundation."
Please take the time to read this article in further depth as you will gain more insights to what each part of the pyramid can do for you as a parent. Although, this blog post focused mainly on caring for oneself there are other aspects of the parent pyramid that may need your attention.
References:
Romney, B. P. M. G. (1982, October 2). The celestial nature of self-reliance. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1982/10/the-celestial-nature-of-self-reliance?lang=eng
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